I know your headaches.

I apologize to everyone that I haven't been able to email or facebook/comment. Being without a computer has proven to be an exhausting trial. I am irritable on the subject.

So, big news from London. I am moving to North Dakota in two weeks! Yes! Two weeks from now exactly I should be hoppin' in the ole Ringo for a ride up north. For reasons I have previously discussed, my situation here is not optimal. I am paying enough to survive but not enough to pay for anything else, and I am falling behind. It is lonely. Everyone seems to have their own lives but me, and the writing has not been coming easily (also difficult to soldier on in that regard thanks to my computer's deadness and my inability to purchase a new one). Also, I have been needing a change of scenery. I adore Ventura with all of my heart, especially on cool and breezy days like today, but it is time for a change. I've been jonesing for Portland or Ashland, Oregon, and then of course NYC, but NYC requires a bit of savings to get going (at least for a few months) and Portland/Ashland don't seem to want to hire people from a remote location. The answer then seems to be to accumulate enough money to transfer to Oregon and stay afloat long enough to get a job of some sort. North Dakota is apparently the place to do this. SO. DO THIS WE SHALL.

Overall I have mixed feelings about the decision, but they lean towards the positive, especially when I really think about it. An adventure! I have never been up North and I have a real longing for it. Things to see, postcards to collect, people to write about. I will be living the minimalist's lifestyle, packing only my most-worn clothes, all of my movies, a tiny cabinet, and 50% of my books. And a few sentimental things to get by, I guess. I have a little shoebox filled with nice notes of encouragement I recieved last year for graduation and birthday and Christmas and general cheering-up emergencies. I will take them. I will get to drive through my precious Oregon and then to Washington and through Montana to see all of the ghost towns! North Dakota has its own desert beauty as well. And jobs. And a free living arrangement, which is the main draw. I also have a solid, good friend up there, who, despite our differences, I have really come to appreciate in the past two years. She tells me that work is basically falling from the sky there, and that even if you get a shit job you can get hours hours hours as many hours as you want. Therefore if I just work all of the time and pay nothing for living expenses (which is the gist of it), and just WRITE whenever I am not exhausted and read read read and perhaps go outside to learn how to shoot regularly (the whole cute little family apparently likes to go shooting together), I should be just fine. Better than! I should be fantastic, and I shall also be helping out this family a bit, they've not been able to go on a family vacation in years due to needing someone to help with "Grandma," this kindly old woman who has dementia and needs someone to hang out with her in her house (where I will be living. for free). That's where I come in. Plus, my friend tells me that the paper there is hiring. BINGO. I intend to propose myself as an entertainment writer for them. Which apparently they are sorely lacking, bahaha.

It will be good. Temporary, just until I can stabilize my finances, get a bit ahead, put a bit in savings. Once I get some savings, I will move to Oregon and immediately get housing and start looking for jobs there. Or maybe even just straight to NY, who knows?

The only thing that makes me sad is the robbery of all things familiar. Which had to happen sooner or later. I mean, I know Ventura. I know where everything is. I have surrogate families here. I have too many people I love in the state of California that, I've realized, there's just no replacing or imitating. Of course I rarely see any of these people anymore because we all have our own lives or something like that, but that doesn't matter. I know I could go find them if I needed to. I've done that. Actually, all week I've been doing that.

but that's a blogpost for another time.

"Dearest Mother- I am about to embark on a great adventure... My investigations in Fort Smith lead me to believe that Tom Chaney can be found and brought to justice, and I have made arrangements to that end. I will return to you once I have seen them properly carried through. But do not worry on my account. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. The author of all things watches over me. And I have a fine horse. Kiss little Frankie for me and pinch Violet’s cheek. I am off for the Choctaw Nation."