I am so furiously sick of being sad all of the goddamn time. It needs to stop. the crying, the turmoil, the self pity. not a way to function. not a way to be. a few weeks ago i was driving into LA and i was thinking about this and the need to affirm a feeling without letting it take over your being and suddenly i said to myself, self, just because you are profoundly sad does not mean your sadness is profound. this is my new motto. but i do wish the being profoundly sad thing would cease.

i wish i had meds.