Sunday, May 2, 2010

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:
Had I your tongues and eyes, I’d use them so
That heaven’s vault should crack. She’s gone forever!
I know when one is dead, and when one lives;
She’s dead as earth.
-King Lear

In other news, I jinxed myself. I've been so damn happy for weeks, on a high. I don't remember the last time I cried but all evening I've been stopping and halting and starting again at the drop of a hat, like it's PMS or something but I know it's not (that was last week, and anyway I don't really get PMS). Like I'm exhausted, but I can't be that exhausted. The chronic dissatisfaction is being chronic again. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? My god, am I really truly this moody? Am I as bipolar as they said I am?

I refuse! I refuse to let the good wave die and let little things that don't mean anything eat away at me. I just don't know how to prevent feeling this emotionally tired. When I wake up tomorrow, I'm doing my best to change it. Destroy the little buggers. Smile. Only good things. It was such a good wave, kid, don't let it die.

Incidentally, I had very little internet access this weekend. Responses to everything forthcoming, as soon as my last 3 finals are out of the way, IE Wednesday.

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