Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm starting to realize how few people- "normal" (relatively) people watch movies. Or read books. Admittedly, I perhaps pursue both of these activities to a fault. Absolutely to a fault, this is one of the reasons why I am out of shape-- I'd so much rather watch a movie or read a book then do physically healthy things. Bah on that. So I'm not saying it doesn't even out, however. There is nothing to make one feel fully freakish than that confused silence that greets one when one drops a quote or reference and is responded to with a blank or questioning stare.

Resident to me: "The rug... the rug is gone... where did the rug go? The rug with the stuff..."
Me to fellow caretaker: "It really tied the room together, man."
Fellow Caretaker: "....?"

Caretaker to another: "Where did you go? We couldn't find you."
Me" "We thought you was a toad."
Fellow caretakers: ".....?"

Pregnant Caretaker: "I feel huge today. Like a whale."
Me: "Hopefully Ahab's not hanging out here."
Pregnant Caretaker: "....?"
Me: "Call me Ishmael."
Pregnant Caretaker: "Okay."

Caretaker: "Does anyone have cash for a tip for the pizza boy?"
Fellow caretakers: "How much is it?"
Caretaker: "Two dollars."
Me (in hoarse, weird voice): "Twwwwooooo dolllaaaaars."
All other fellow caretakers: "..................................?"

Caretaker to me: "You offend me."
Me: "Aw. Give us your hands if we be friends and Robin shall restore amends."
Caretaker to me: "I'm not gonna hold your hand."


Sonja said...

Me too! Except, I'm more a telly person than a movie person. Like, today I forced myself to hula-hoop, situps, and other muscly things while watching Stardust.

I'm not sure I got all yours--The Big Lebowski, Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Moby Dick, don't get the two dollar one, Midsummer Night's Dream?

Laura Allyson said...

This CRACKS. ME. UP. And makes me happy that I got most of them. Except the last one. Twwooooo dollaaars. pahahaha. "I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky."

I think this happens to most of us. I was talking to Stoner Kid from my class once, about a dachshund head that he made in a pottery class...

Me: "You should just carry it around campus and take it out every once in a while, Hamlet-style."
S.K.: "Poor Yorick! I knew him well."
Me: "We had some lively times."
S.K.: "...?"

Erin said...

Hahahaha SO great.

Katrina said...

Yeah, you got them all Sonja, except for Better Off Dead. Which I was SURE everyone knew, but apparently not. That was actually a really hilarious moment because I was saying it in the creepiest voice possible and they were all sitting around the table staring at me..

And Laura... that makes me happy.