Wednesday, September 22, 2010

but he leaves the next day...

This morning, for the first time in... a long time, I got up at 5AM after a good six-hour sleep. Incredible. And I got up even before my alarm. Quite stunning, quite stunning indeed.

I know I'll probably be dragging a bit today, despite the hot coffee that I am about to consume (out of my I Heart NY mug), but I seem to drag a bit every day anyway. Today I'm starting a very part-time position, aid (or shadow) for this kid named Lee at a private Christian school. It's in Camarillo, which is about a twenty minute drive from here, but it beats Santa Barbara, which is a 50 minute drive, usually. The drawback being that I have to get up much earlier than I've been used to as a deadbeat unemployed kid, and that there is some sort of dress code. I haven't been able to figure out what that code is, though, and thus I am trying to cover all of my bases this morning by wearing my one nice pair of slacks and an oversized yet stylish and sparkly black sweater thing with traces of a weird green scarf that I wear with everything, though it's not really a scarf... more like a limp, decorative scarf wanna-be, but it certainly makes everything I wear seem a tad bit artsy. Yes, I am a stylish, artsy creature!

Anyway, I only work until about 12, after which I think I'll come back home, make an egg sandwich, and get back to writing. I did a good deal of outlining on a new old story on Monday, but yesterday was an anxiety-ridden, sleepy day that concluded with me sneezing myself silly while watching all of the new shows on Fox (Glee, Raising Hope, Running Wilde), which were not that good.

Lately I've been waking up to Paul McCartney's "Another Day" from his Ram On album, which is one of the best albums ever put together, in my opinion, and ultimately tops all of the other ex-Beatles's post-Beatles careers (strange yes, I always preferred George overall, but this album is just so GOOD). Anyway, this song is so wonderful, and it makes me very happy to move along with the mundanity (is that a word?) of life while being satisfied by the validation of sadness.

So Sad, So Sad,
Sometimes She Feels So Sad.
Alone In Her Apartment She'd Dwell,
Till The Man Of Her Dreams Comes To Break The Spell.

Ah, Stay, Don't Stand Her Up
And He Comes And He Stays
But He Leaves The Next Day,
So Sad.

I think that's so good-- not that this woman is necessarily waiting around for a MAN to help her out of it, but just something, any kind of a change to get her away from this monotony, but "he comes, and he stays, but he leaves the next day." That line just kills me for some reason. Also:

As She Posts Another Letter To The Sound Of Five,
People Gather 'Round Her
And She Finds It Hard To Stay Alive

At the same time, he's singing about her in an upbeat sort of way, which I don't feel is supposed to be ironic at all. This is life, there IS something to getting up, slipping into stockings, stepping
into shoes. It's just another day, and there's nothing really wrong with that.

Cheers.

On that note, I have so much anxiety about accomplishing things these days. I really need to do something wonderful.

Preferrably before I turn 23, my god.

6 comments:

Sonja said...

I'm so glad you're employed. Even if it is part time. And not in what you really want to be doing.

I love how you've blocked off an entire afternoon for writing. I should probably do that myself. Or something. Or work on editing your script (I haven't forgotten, but school is conspiring). (Speaking of writing, you don't mind that I'm using your guillotine idea, do you? I started randomly feeling guilty and somewhat of a thief, so...if you have a problem with it just let me know.)

I'm probably going to watch Glee today on Hulu when I get back from school (instead of writing! ha...siiiigh). I'm not really expecting it to be anything more than a lot of musical cheese though. Which is what I need after thinking serious thoughts all day.

I think you're being so hard on yourself. You have done so many wonderful things before you're twenty-three. You graduated college. You have an entire script written and you're revisioning it and everything. You're living on your own. You have a job! You're independent.

Sonja said...

Also, I just noticed your spiffy new background (not that you had changed it, but the image at the top took me a while to notice it) and I can't help but think of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead:

"So England's a conspiracy of cartographers then?"

Katrina said...

Well, truth is, I didn't end up writing that day because I CANNOT write in this house! And I didn't have any gas money to take me myself and Ringo away. Boo. But yes, I have been pretty good about writing in general-- BUT I am 1) unemployed 2) not in school! school is such a huge black hole for your time and mental energy.

Glee.... I STILL don't know how I feel about it. It's guilty pleasure, I guess, because I love Sue's lines and being surprised by each song they take on per episode (and most of their performances are 100 times better than whatever pop song they're covering, AND they have reintroduced showtunes to the mainstream) but UGH the zero plot! the characters! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS SO ANNOYING! I could care less about any of them. The only interesting storyline was the fake baby of evil ex wife. There's no consistency whatsoever... which means, ultimately, the writing is pretty bad, which is such a shame because it's about 50% brilliant. That said, I thought the latest episode was particularly lame. I read someone's opinion that we're supposed to feel moved by Rachel's ballad at the end but I was just so bored. Anyway. I like Sue. The cute guidance counselor and Will are fun, too, when Will isn't CRYING or something.

ALSO please don't read the script, actually, because I'm already starting major overhaul for draft three, which i would much rather have you read. i've gotten some feedback, just enough to know that i have to make significant changes (IE it kinda sucks), so please forget about it until I provide D3. ALSO, no, of course the guillotine thing was up for grabs, I read it in the news if you recall and I would have never done anything with it. Which is a shame, because it's such a bizarre thing.... so no guilt!!

as for all of the nice accomplishments you listed, they're only part-way true, except for the graduation thing, which at this point doesn't seem to have counted for anything. still. i am pleased to have gotten over that hurdle, at least. :)

Katrina said...

Well, truth is, I didn't end up writing that day because I CANNOT write in this house! And I didn't have any gas money to take me myself and Ringo away. Boo. But yes, I have been pretty good about writing in general-- BUT I am 1) unemployed 2) not in school! school is such a huge black hole for your time and mental energy.

Glee.... I STILL don't know how I feel about it. It's guilty pleasure, I guess, because I love Sue's lines and being surprised by each song they take on per episode (and most of their performances are 100 times better than whatever pop song they're covering, AND they have reintroduced showtunes to the mainstream) but UGH the zero plot! the characters! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS SO ANNOYING! I could care less about any of them. The only interesting storyline was the fake baby of evil ex wife. There's no consistency whatsoever... which means, ultimately, the writing is pretty bad, which is such a shame because it's about 50% brilliant. That said, I thought the latest episode was particularly lame. I read someone's opinion that we're supposed to feel moved by Rachel's ballad at the end but I was just so bored. Anyway. I like Sue. The cute guidance counselor and Will are fun, too, when Will isn't CRYING or something.

Katrina said...

ALSO please don't read the script, actually, because I'm already starting major overhaul for draft three, which i would much rather have you read. i've gotten some feedback, just enough to know that i have to make significant changes (IE it kinda sucks), so please forget about it until I provide D3. ALSO, no, of course the guillotine thing was up for grabs, I read it in the news if you recall and I would have never done anything with it. Which is a shame, because it's such a bizarre thing.... so no guilt!!

as for all of the nice accomplishments you listed, they're only part-way true, except for the graduation thing, which at this point doesn't seem to have counted for anything. still. i am pleased to have gotten over that hurdle, at least. :)

Sonja said...

I agree -- I prefer the Glee covers to most of the regular ones. As for the story itself -- I just think they pull plot events from a hat because...seriously. And I actually like the minor characters...when the writers don't do weird, nonsensical things to them that is. >.> I just like to say it's my Super Fluffy Cotton Candy Entertainment. And that I won't be having any Glee marathons anytime soon. Or buying the DVDs. Hulu: gift of the internets.

I feel so bad for not giving you feedback more quickly on your script. I will wait for draft three then. Hopefully I won't be in school. Or won't have so many essays of my own to write. Or something.